I love Dan Schutte's music--some of the most beautiful hymns I've ever heard. This evening I went on YouTube and typed in "Dan Schutte hymns," thinking I would just spend some time enjoying some of my favorites. However, the first one I found was one that I'd never heard, one that touched me deeply and proved to be quite a meditation. The hymn was "These Alone Are Enough."
I assume that the hymn is based on the prayer of Ignatius Loyola--a prayer that I often find difficult to pray. In the hymn, the refrain "Give me nothing more than your love and grace. These alone are enough for me.seems to reflect the original prayer. This version, however, seemed to touch something deeper in me--something less fearful than the original idea of the original idea of giving up my memory, my understanding. It does, however, speak of those "final days" when God might be calling me to give up quite a lot and just trust in Gods love and grace. That, I think , is what surrender means.
What gave me a lot to think about was that this kind of surrender isn't something that I'm going to learn just in those "last days." It's more like a habit that I've got to acquire over a long time. Maybe some of that kind of surrender is what God has gifted me with this past year--being in a position where I really didn't have control over what was happening in my body. Where my "control" came into play was in how I chose to deal with that loss of control, that situation of not having the answers, of having to wait until my body--and my God--worked all things "unto good!
So...before my God calls me to those "final days" (hopefully not for a long time!) I can continue to learn what "surrender" and to trust that a loving God does have the answers!